i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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