So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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