tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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