To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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