addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
