Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
