his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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