Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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