I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize