I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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