What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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