we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
