I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
