He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
