do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
