i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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