she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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