His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize