It's like God shit irony all over that family
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
