physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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