My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
