I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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