Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
