he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
