T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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