my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
