was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
