Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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