Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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