She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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