So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
