ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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