so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
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i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
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Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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