My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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