I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
