called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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