Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
