I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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