Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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