My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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