The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize