Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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