it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize