you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
