You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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