just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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