White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
40s are totally the cure
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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