I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
