yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
