i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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