i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have fence marks all over my body
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
