Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
