you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
