At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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