I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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