he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
