I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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