sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
