i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
