Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
