Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
