you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
